3.22.2012

A couple days shy of 4 weeks old

I have been neglecting the blog since Ezra arrived. How can I put into words all the excitement, all the love, and all the changes we go through on a daily basis? I am a different person since he got here. Being different is awkward when it comes to writing a blog; I don't know my own voice anymore. I feel like my posts are forced, and I feel I am not allowed to share these feelings in a public forum, like on a blog.



Whatever, I'll get over it. The only way I'll find my voice is to start talking. So here I go...

I never know what to say anymore other than I love my kid. I am so proud of him. At 2.5 weeks old, he rolled over from front to back, about three months ahead of schedule. I am extremely proud of how strong my baby is. Ezra's little eyes focus well, and I see him thinking when he looks at me. I am extremely proud of how smart my baby is. Every day Ezra does something that makes me smile like an idiot, and tear up with joy. I love his baby smell, I love his super soft skin, I love his baby snores, and I love how his hungry cry sounds like he's wailing "why?!" I can't stop taking pictures of him; every moment is worth documenting endlessly with a camera phone. Maybe now I'll start documenting endlessly on the blog. Now, if blogger only had a Smart phone app...

Note to Ezra: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

2.25.2012

2.18.2012

38 weeks 3 days

So my cold is getting worse, but we finally picked a pediatrician who made me feel confident that I can do this is sick or healthy. Besides, Ezra doesn't mind at all <3

2.17.2012

38 weeks 2 days

We're ripening! I found out at the doctor yesterday that I am over 50% effaced and I have dilated 1.5 cm. I have not been having real contractions, however. The fact that my cervix is getting ready for delivery before I go into labor is a good thing; apparently, this ripening makes labor progress more easily with less chance of requiring pitocin during labor. Another good thing I heard from Dr. Green yesterday is that Ezra did not grow very much over the past week! That means he might not be as scary big as I am afraid he'll be. Our bags are packed and ready for the hospital. We just have to figure out that darn car seat.

Mom and dad dropped by last night to pick up a few things I have for their house, and I have never seen my mom so happy. She skipped! It was a genuine movement, not forced, contrived, or awkward, and she reminded me of a carefree 7-year-old. Obviously, she is very excited to be a grandma.

One thing I can complain about this week is that I have caught a cold. I think it's funny, honestly. I usually get sick about twice a year, one time being a ferocious bout with bronchitis. However, I have been a pillar of good health throughout this pregnancy--not counting the morning sickness, obviously. And now that I am in the earliest stages of labor, I get a gnarly cold. The breathing airways kept me up all night, and when I did sleep I snored violently (according to Bo). I woke up drenched in sweat, then I again I awoke with fierce shivers. FUN! The gods are punishing me for my hubris. I was so proud of my lack of illness throughout my pregnancy that I actually bragged about my "super pregnant lady immunity." Lesson learned.

Note to Ezra: You're still moving as if nothing has changed. If you're feeling sick with me, I can't tell. Every time I say "ouch" because you've head-butted me, your dad thinks I'm going into labor and switches into crisis mode. He's very excited to meet you, baby... and soon!

2.15.2012

38 weeks 0 days

I'm very ready to have this baby. Plus, I could really use a nap. Today is not the best, but I'm going to push through because I begin maternity leave at 4:30pm on Friday. I can't wait to be lazy on the couch with my feet up and a gallon of water next to me. Ezra is still moving around, but he's gotten very camera shy. However, Uncle Major got to see Ezra move for the first time today (it only took 9 months of trying). I think I've got a new babysitter.

Note to Ezra: Are you ready to come out yet? Soon? Please?

2.08.2012

37 weeks 0 days

Note to Ezra: Congratulations, baby! We have officially made it to a full-term pregnancy. I know you're getting bigger because your movements are less jerking and more stretching as you try to find room in my crowded belly. But you're still super active and STRONG. Because I had begun effacement at the last check-up, I wonder what Dr. Green will have to say when I go in for our check-up tomorrow. If I am dilating, I'm asking Tita Nanelle to use her super powers with acupressure to move things along. I'm getting tired, and I'm ready to have you here!

2.07.2012

36 weeks 6 days

I have been trying to get through all the thank you cards, but the swelling and soreness in my finger joints is making that impossible. Plus, I'm getting mild contractions more and more. I used to be doubled up in pain with menstrual cramps when I was younger, and I hated that I had such horrible pain related to being a woman that the other girls did not seem to be afflicted by. At this point, however, I'm glad I got painful menstrual cramps in my youth because those experiences make Braxton-Hicks contractions less scary and easily recognizable. I guess everything really does happen for a reason. And if everything happens for a reason, does the pain in my fingers mean I do not have to finish the thank you cards?

Perhaps not.

Bo really should write some of them, though.