Day 1

He's here!!

10:33am
8 lbs 13 oz
21.5 inches
♥

38 weeks 3 days

So my cold is getting worse, but we finally picked a pediatrician who made me feel confident that I can do this is sick or healthy. Besides, Ezra doesn't mind at all <3

38 weeks 2 days

We're ripening! I found out at the doctor yesterday that I am over 50% effaced and I have dilated 1.5 cm. I have not been having real contractions, however. The fact that my cervix is getting ready for delivery before I go into labor is a good thing; apparently, this ripening makes labor progress more easily with less chance of requiring pitocin during labor. Another good thing I heard from Dr. Green yesterday is that Ezra did not grow very much over the past week! That means he might not be as scary big as I am afraid he'll be. Our bags are packed and ready for the hospital. We just have to figure out that darn car seat.

Mom and dad dropped by last night to pick up a few things I have for their house, and I have never seen my mom so happy. She skipped! It was a genuine movement, not forced, contrived, or awkward, and she reminded me of a carefree 7-year-old. Obviously, she is very excited to be a grandma.

One thing I can complain about this week is that I have caught a cold. I think it's funny, honestly. I usually get sick about twice a year, one time being a ferocious bout with bronchitis. However, I have been a pillar of good health throughout this pregnancy--not counting the morning sickness, obviously. And now that I am in the earliest stages of labor, I get a gnarly cold. The breathing airways kept me up all night, and when I did sleep I snored violently (according to Bo). I woke up drenched in sweat, then I again I awoke with fierce shivers. FUN! The gods are punishing me for my hubris. I was so proud of my lack of illness throughout my pregnancy that I actually bragged about my "super pregnant lady immunity." Lesson learned.

Note to Ezra: You're still moving as if nothing has changed. If you're feeling sick with me, I can't tell. Every time I say "ouch" because you've head-butted me, your dad thinks I'm going into labor and switches into crisis mode. He's very excited to meet you, baby... and soon!

38 weeks 0 days

I'm very ready to have this baby. Plus, I could really use a nap. Today is not the best, but I'm going to push through because I begin maternity leave at 4:30pm on Friday. I can't wait to be lazy on the couch with my feet up and a gallon of water next to me. Ezra is still moving around, but he's gotten very camera shy. However, Uncle Major got to see Ezra move for the first time today (it only took 9 months of trying). I think I've got a new babysitter.

Note to Ezra: Are you ready to come out yet? Soon? Please?

37 weeks 0 days

Note to Ezra: Congratulations, baby! We have officially made it to a full-term pregnancy. I know you're getting bigger because your movements are less jerking and more stretching as you try to find room in my crowded belly. But you're still super active and STRONG. Because I had begun effacement at the last check-up, I wonder what Dr. Green will have to say when I go in for our check-up tomorrow. If I am dilating, I'm asking Tita Nanelle to use her super powers with acupressure to move things along. I'm getting tired, and I'm ready to have you here!

36 weeks 6 days

I have been trying to get through all the thank you cards, but the swelling and soreness in my finger joints is making that impossible. Plus, I'm getting mild contractions more and more. I used to be doubled up in pain with menstrual cramps when I was younger, and I hated that I had such horrible pain related to being a woman that the other girls did not seem to be afflicted by. At this point, however, I'm glad I got painful menstrual cramps in my youth because those experiences make Braxton-Hicks contractions less scary and easily recognizable. I guess everything really does happen for a reason. And if everything happens for a reason, does the pain in my fingers mean I do not have to finish the thank you cards?

Perhaps not.

Bo really should write some of them, though.

36 weeks 1 day

Ultrasound day! I am super excited. Pictures to follow...

At least he's consistent; Ezra hid from the ultrasound tech so we only got two partially decent images...

I like his Phantom of the Opera impression in the first image, and I die for those cheeks!! The doctors estimate that he weighs 7 pounds, 2 ounces at this point. My doctor hopes that I go into labor at least a week early, but I'm not yet dilating. However, my cervix has "thinned out" and Ezra's head is right on it, so she believes it's possible I may deliver well before the due date.

Note to Ezra: YOU ARE TOO CUTE. Four weeks or less, bubbuhs. See you soon!!

36 weeks 0 days

I'm having a mini panic attack today. I'm not ready!! The baby room is not complete, I don't have anything organized, and I haven't even packed my go bag. What if Ezra comes tomorrow? Why am I such a procrastinator?! I should be reading more parenting books. I should be learning to cook better. I should be more diligent about sweeping and vacuuming. I need to get a carpet for Ezra to play on. Shoot, I need a mattress for the crib! We haven't even put up all the awesome decals that Bo bought. I'm freaking out, man.

I know this all boils down to my fears about being a new mom. ACK, I tear up just thinking about the possibility of failing at this task that will last the rest of my life. I'm not ready. But I've also never been more ready. The logical side of me knows that everything will work itself out and Bo and I will find our way as parents faster than I expect. Plus, I take a look at my swollen feet and think that having Ezra come sooner than later is a great idea.

Yes, that is Bo playing Modern Warfare: Call of Duty 4 in the background. *sigh* Game on, buddy. Soon you won't get much time for that at all!

Note to Ezra: I don't want you to take my insecurity as me not wanting you because there is nothing I want more than to finally get to hold you. I love you!!